A Nightmare on Elm Street: Prequel FINAL SCENE A
FEMINIST HELLS ANGELS KILL FREDDY
(A FEMALE KILLS HIM)
Suddenly Freddy Resurrects himself using the power of psychological terror and Soviet hackers.
All of the Ninjas become magnetized. The chemistry of their body reverses polarity due to their electrolytes becoming magnetized.
They are sucked back inside the Shinobi videogame one by one.
A Whirlwind of Ninja voices cries out at once.
An Asian voice loudly exclaims: You have angered the NINJAS and NOW YOU WILL PAY
The Shinobi Arcade Game suddenly blows a circuit board and burns up in Flames.
The wind blows the back door open and a really hot hells angel woman (in disguise...she’s not obviously a hells angel) walks in.
Her name is: Paige.
She’s wearing a GREEN THRASHER MAGAZINE SHIRT. Her nails are painted Red.
Paige takes 3 steps forward and then turns to the side and strikes a pose to show off her legs.
All the Men in the room are just staring at her, with their jaws open.
Hells Angel Dude 1: Holy GOD...she’s HOT
Hells Angel Dude 2: Uhhh...uh,.....uhhhh...uhhh
Hells Angel Dude 3: Oh yeah!!!!!!
Hellls Angel Dude 4: And that’s not even her HOTTEST POSE
Paige: Oh you guys can stop anytime. Especially before Icelyn finds out.
Hells Angel Dude 2: Who is Icelyn again?
Hells Angel Dude 3: The hot woman you masturbate to.
Hells Angel Dude 2: Not ringing a bell.
Hells Angel Dude 1: Wears a Blue or Red Cloak and randomly works behind the counter at Truck Stops.
Hells Angel Dude 2: She’s seriously so fucking hot.
Paige: No, dude I’m hot.
Random Dude 1: YEAH SHE IS!!!!’
Paige: He’s a TRUE METAL FAN!
Paige strips off all of her tactical clothing and equipment.
Icelyn: I’m sorry. She wasn’t supposed to do that. That’s not appropriate.
Freddy: EVERYTHING IS APPROPRIATE IN A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PREQUEL
Paige: Oh yeah? Well everything is appropriate if you’re a woman!
Icelyn: No it’s not and you know it.
Freddy (sighs and shakes his head): Here we go again. The Feminists are BACK!
Hot Blonde Girl at the Bar 1
Hot Blonde Girl at the Bar 1: He’s actually into me this year.
Icelyn: No he’s not.
Paige: She’s right. He is definitely not.
Hot Blonde Girl at the Bar 1: How about...we LET HIM DECIDE!
Random Guy with Glasses 1 enters
Random Guy with Glasses 1: I am really am more into the Hot Blonde Girl though.
Icelyn: Oh really? And why is that?
Paige: It’s because she’s blond and she doesn’t call him out.
Random Guy with Glasses: Oh you mean she’s actually nice and treats me with respect?
Icelyn: Men don’t deserve to be treated with respect.
Billie Eilish enters.
Billie Eilish: I knew this would happen and I’m here to prevent…
Paige: NO YOU’RE HERE TO SLEEP WITH HIM!!!!
Billie Eilish: Sorry BITCH...but there won’t be that much sleeping when he’s in my bed.
Icelyn: UMMMMMMMMMM. EXCUSE ME?
Mary Hayes enters.
Mary Hayes: I told all of them this in 2012. And that Deustchebag Jamie Shaffer too.
Random Guy with Glasses: Hey be fair, we had some good Mountain Biking adventures together.
Mary Hayes (screaming): MEN ARE ALL ALIKE!
Sean Bonnette Enters
Sean Bonnette: Look I’m sorry he dumped you. Him and I have talked about this.
Random Hells Angel Woman Enters.
Random Hells Angel Woman: I wasn’t even supposed to be here!
Random Japanese Man enters.
Random Japanese Man: I NOW GIVE YOU THE POWER OF MASAMUNE!
Random Chinese Man enters.
Random Chinese Man: AND I GIVE YOU THE POWER OF MURASAME!
Random Syrian Woman Enters.
Random Syrian Woman: AND I GIVE YOU….THE SWORD OF DAMASCUS!
Freddy: Anyways…. LADIES….What FUCKING MOVIE IS THIS AGAIN?!?!
Random Wes Craven Fan or Family Member enters.
Random Wes Craven Fan or Family Member: Welcome to the PARTY!
Paige: It’s about to get REAL!
Freddy: As REAL AS HOLLYWOOD GETS!!!!!
Icelyn: And as…
Johnny Depp appears dressed as a Pirate:
Johnny Depp (in Pirate Swagger): And No more rhyming mate.
Enter Random Pirate Feminist Hells Angel 1
Icelyn: Uh oh…
Random Pirate Feminist Hells Angel 1: I AM THE BRITISH FRIGATE THAT NO ONE CAN DEFEAT!
A shadow of an 18th Century British Frigate flickers on the wall. The shadow gradually grows bigger. And bigger.
As the shadow gets bigger it fills the whole room. The shadow gradually materializes and the ship begins to break the walls down.
A huge flag from BELIZE suddenly materializes.
It is the Belizean Pirate Captain Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp leaps down from the rigging of the Frigate. He is carrying a bottle of PHANTOM wine from Bogle Vineyards.
Johnny Depp: And I suppose none of you thought I would ever be in this movie again...especially dressed as a Pirate!
Freddy: NOT ME…I ALWAYS KNEW A DRUNKEN PIRATE LIKE YOU WOULD BE BACK!
Weird Green and Red Mist suddenly materializes around Freddy.
Freddy is enshrouded in mist.
Suddenly he stretches into TWO different Freddy Kruegers!
One of them is completely dressed in Green and the other is dressed in Red.
Red Freddy Kruegger is a Communist.
Green Freddy Kruegger is a Ninja Master….A SHINOBI.
Suddenly Green Freddy Kruegger uses his NINJA MAGIC. He makes the hand symbol from the Arcade Video Game “Shinobi” and suddenly 5 different mirror images of himself float around him. The images constantly rotate like in the videogame. One is a mirror image of himself upside down that is standing on the ceiling. The mirror images are holograms and not real.
Green Freddy Kruegger: Now it’s time to KNOCK OUT THE GOOD GUYS!
Paige Flys through the air and attempts to kick the mirror image ninja on top of Freddy in the stomach. She misses and flies through the ninja...but it does cause the ninja to disappear…
And now the JIG IS UP!
It becomes obvious that Green Freddy Kruegger is being protected by holographic mirror images of himself that aren’t real.
Enter Hot Opera Singer and Les Claypool from Primus.
Les Claypool: My name is MUD…..Mu...mu...mu...mu mu MUD!
Les Claypool Flicks the top string of his CUSTOM BASS with his Thumb. And A powerful Bass Note Reverberates throughout the whole place. The Holographic mirror images shatter at once all around Green Freddy Kruegger and he is destroyed in the process. All of his Green Clothes are lying on the floor and presumably his body disappeared into thin air.
Les Claypool’s Hot Assistant enters.
Les Claypool’s Hot Assistant: My God...LES...you’re finally trying again...you look so hot...I just wish we could be together again!
And she continues…
Les Claypool’s Hot Assistant: And you have some of Freddy’s knowledge, skills and abilities!
Jamie Linger Pearson enters dressed as a Librarian. She looks REALLY HOT.
Jamie Linger Pearson (raises hands in the air): I HAVE THE POWER OF FEMINISM AND BOOKS!!!!!!
Jamie Linger Pearson’s Hair Turns Black and White and she becomes a HOT WIZARD!
Hot Wizard Jamie Linger Pearson: I shall now transport you from First Draft Book Bar Phoenix to STORIES BOOKS AND CAFE IN LA.
And just like that...a GIANT LOOKING GLASS APPEARS. The Air gets all weird and Suddenly everyone disappears and reappears in LA on SUNSET BLVD! Either that or they just take a PLANE ;)
Everyone is walking down the street in Sunset Blvd in Costume and they enter Stories Books & Cafe in Echo Park Neighborhood.
Stories Books & Cafe is hosting a Feminist Event on the back patio as the cast and crew enters.
Store Employee 1: She is a hot blond who is kinda shy and wearing a black apron with literary quotes. All the guys in the store want her. It’s really obvious. Well when they are not checking out Team Brianna Brown Hair anyways.
Store Employee 1 (Smiling): Welcome to Stories Books and Cafe.
Crew Member 1: Hey how ya doing? I’m (insert name here) and this is the Cast and Crew of “A Nightmare on Elm Street: Prequel”.
Store Employee 1: Wooooooo! Welcome! What brought this about?
Cast Member 1: I don’t know if you remember...but that one writer dude who no one believed he was a writer and some of the Feminists here thought he was rude or something. The one who checks you out...like a lot…
Store Employee 1: Mmmhmmm. Ohhh! Yeah! Him...I don’t really know him but I definitely recognize him.
Crew Member 1: Do you mind if we film in the back?
Store Employee 2: We’re actually holding a Feminist Event right now. You’ll have to come back ano…
Red Freddy Krueger enters.
Red Freddy Krueger: Welcome to PRIME TIME you shallow LA BITCHES!
Store Employee 2: Excuse me sir...but that is no way to talk to a woman. And especially when you use words like that.
Red Freddy Krueger: What...like BITCH? Well BITCH...are you a...BITCH?
Store Employee 2: SECURITY! Arrest this dreadful man!
Red Freddy Krueger takes off his red sweater. He is bare-chested now.
Red Freddy Krueger: Who said MY GENDER WAS MALE ANYWAYS?
Red Freddy Krueger: LA Feminists. Tsk. Tsk. You always forget about US TRANSGENDERS! It’s the T that you have to watch out for...am I right? T like TORNADO!!!
All of a sudden a dark funnel cloud appears over the bookstore. Maybe consider some Ghostbusters Cross-Promotion here if the Producers want.
But thankfully MARGARET and HER WHITE CAT ENTERS.
Margaret: I just DESTROYED GHISLAINE MAXWELL over my lunch break. And now I’m BORED AGAIN. Whatever shall I do…
Crew Member 2: Oh hey. We’re filming a movie back here if you want to join us.
Margaret: Oh you don’t say! How Marvelous!
Margaret sets the White Cat down. It is laying on it’s side and frolicking back and forth.
Margaret: Waitress! Bring me an Earl Grey tea with honey post haste! And I want THE LATEST BOOK ON FEMINISM THAT JUST CAME OUT IN THE HOLLYWOOD SCENE!
Hollywood Janitor enters.
Hollywood Janitor: Oh god the Hollywood Snob Scene Feminists are back...here we go again.
Margaret: EXCUSE ME SIR?!?! Do you realize you are being RUDE!
Hollywood Janitor: Yeah no…..no I’m not dealing with all this again..
Margaret (snaps her finger once): HATERZ BE GONE! Suddenly the Tornado begins to dissipate.
Hot Opera Singer enters.
Hot Opera Singer: Now that that awful Tornado is gone...I can sing!
Red Freddy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He Covers both ears.
Colonel Claypool’s Frog Brigade and Anti-Sex Trafficking Brigade enters.
Colonel Claypool: My people are standing by. You may begin singing now.
Hot Opera Singer begins to sing.
Suddenly all of the Lost Boys and Girls who felt unsafe begin to enter. They form a circle around the Opera Singer and protect her.
Hot Opera Singer continues singing. Her singing gets louder.
Red Freddy gradually gets destroyed by the singing.
Suddenly some confused Hells Angels Enter.
Confused Hells Angel 1: Yeah bro, that girl at that fucking bar...the Black Cat Los Angeles...she’s so fucking hot….
Confused Hells Angel 2: Dude it was all I could do not to jump across the bar and bang her in the back room. For Real.
Confused Hells Angel 1: You’re telling me. God it’s hard to be a single man these days...what with all the…
Margaret overhears him from the back.
Margaret: With all the FEMINISTS? Is that what you were going to say sir?
Confused Hells Angel 3: Ummmmmm.
Red Freddy was almost destroyed….and suddenly all of the misogyny in the room gives him power and brings him back.
Red Freddy: Hey Hey it’s LA! And why is it SO GAY?!?!
Suddenly Paige drops in from the ceiling and onto Freddy’s Shoulders. A brief struggle ensues. But she eventually unsheathes her SENPAI KNIFE and Assassinates RED FREDDY in front of everyone. Everyone is horrified but relieved. She takes off her helmet and everyone can see how hot she is!
She is wearing that Green THRASHER TSHIRT THAT I LIKE. She has long hair and red nails. She is perfect in everyway.
Begin SECRET SCENE AFTER CREDITS ROLL.
THE Hollywood Janitor is cleaning up the scene. He puts RED FREDDYS outfit into his backpack along with the keys to a MENTAL INSTITUTION IN LA that he found inside the outfit. HE IS GOING TO RESCUE ABUSED PEOPLE INSIDE IT.
CUE JASON MUSIC FROM FRIDAY THE 13th.
Notes to Director for Actress recommendations:
Laura McCauley. Laurakmccauley.net
Rebecca Bitner. Acquaintance. Facebook Friend.
Stella Zagori. Acquaintance. Stella Diamond on my Facebook.
Any of the Women that hangout at Stories Books and Cafe on Sunset Blvd in LA (Silverlake neighborhood). https://www.storiesla.com/