COPYRIGHT 2019-2020 Christopher P. Cranny

 

Chapter 8: A Rescue at the Wrong Time

 

Scene begins with really cool 80s music! A bunch of teenagers are driving around. They have cool clothes on and are way ahead of their time. 

 

Their car is a black 80s Corvette. They get out to the car and turn off the engine.

 

They pause and look at each for 10 seconds.

 

CUE METAL MUSIC! “Kings of Metal” by the band MANOWAR starts playing.

 

Suddenly a huge HELLS ANGEL DUDE pops out from the back of the Corvette...he has just been released from Federal Prison. The Hood of the Corvette states: “DEATH TO FALSE METAL” and has a MANOWAR LOGO above it. 

 

Hells Angel Dude (Screams): DEATH TO FALSE METAL AND DEATH TO SEX TRAFFICKERS!!!!

 

The cool kids raise their beers in the air and say: HELL YEAH DUDE!!!!

 

Hells Angel Dude: This would be cooler if I had my bike…

 

Cool kids: Yeah, yeah dude just get going…

 

Hells Angel Dude is Ripped…..he tears off his denim jacket and underneath the jacket he is wearing a shirt that reads: “BIKERS AGAINST CHILD ABUSE”. 


 

In the background, hidden among the trees is a group of Anarchists laughing at everyone. 

 

One of the Anarchists yells: IF HEAVY METAL DOESN’T GET THEM…

 

The Rest of the Anarchists finishes that statement with: THE ANARCHISTS WILL!

 

One of the Anarchists tosses an “Ales from the Crypt” beer to The Hells Angels Dude and he grabs it. 

 

Hells Angels Dude: Hey dude, toss me another!

 

Anarchist: Sure thing man! Killer outfit btw!

 

Hells Angels Dude: Catches Beer in other hand. IT’S SHOWTIME...BITCH!

 

Suddenly out of nowhere, the Meatloaf Song “I would do anything for Love (but I won’t do that)”...starts playing. 

 

All of the actors break out in song and re-enact an alternate version of the video for “I would do anything for Love (but I won’t do that)”.

 

They are marching in formation and suddenly a badd-ass motorcycle bike (just let the actor riding it choose what is comfortable to him) floats down from the sky and then slowly materializes….

 

For some strange reason, Frodo from Lord of the Rings appears in the sky too. It is just his face though. 

 

Frodo smiles and says: Take my Elven power and use it wisely. Do not let this movie suffer the same fate as Spaceballs 2: The Search for more Money. 

 

Hells Angel Dude: You got it, boss.

 

Suddenly another face appears in the sky: It is Sarah Almeida (the one Chris Cranny knows). She smiles and says: This is Sarah from India or something...I just want everyone to know that Chris still thinks I am HOT. 

Hells Angel Dude: Yeah, yeah we know. Anyways off to ROCK and KICK ASS!

 

After this, the motorcycle floats down to the ground, materializes and becomes real. 

 

Chris Cranny makes a cameo as a full body floating in the sky. He is wearing a “Russian Girlfriends” shirt. I now grant you the power to be Sleipnir. 

 

Cue the music and here are the lyrics:

 

Sleipnir

Manowar

He is descended from giants

His father Loki, God of fire, is the sworn blood brother to Odin himself

He rides across land, sea, and air from the land of the living

To the land of the dead.

This eight legged steed crosses eight points of the compass

From eight directions into eight dimensions

He is the bringer of the valiant dead from the battlefield to Valhalla!

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting for me

He was born of giants

His icy coat is grey

At night he rides into the world of death

The living by day

One day on his back I shall ride

From the battlefield into the sky

Borne by Valkyries we Valiant Dead

Into the Hall of Heroes shall be led

Ride down from Asgard

To the battlefield

Bringer of the Valiant Dead

Who died but never yeilded

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting for me

Faster than the fastest horse alive

The living son of fire rides

From the halls of Asgard across the sky

To the world of Gods and Men

Eight legs and magic runes

Carved upon his teeth

Thunder and lightning

Sound beneath his feet

On his back the war God Odin rides

Sword and magic spear held high

Ride down from Asgard

To the battlefield

Bringer of the Valiant Dead

Who died but never yielded

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting for me

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting for me

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting for me

Carry we who die in battle

Over land and sea

Across the rainbow bridge

To Valhalla

Odin's waiting for me

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: LOGAN KARL / DEMAIO JOSEPH

Sleipnir lyrics © CIRCLE SONG MUSIC LLC


 

Song ends. Cue music and next Manowar song starts. 

 

Thy Kingdom Come MMXIV

Manowar

See the white light

The light within

Be your own disciple

Fan the sparks of will

For all of us waiting

Our kingdom has come

Rays of power shining

Rays of magic fall

On the golden voice that speaks within us all

For all of us waiting

Your kingdom will come

Kingdom Come

Feel the white light

The light within

Yea it burns a fire that drives a man to win

For all of us waiting

Your kingdom will come

Kingdom Come

Words of power

Calling to us all

Holding us together while other kingdoms fall

No longer waiting

Our kingdom has come

Kingdom Come

Kingdom coming

Another kingdom falls

The rightful are waiting

But all are not rightful

Wait and receive the weight of the fall

Kingdom Come

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Joey Demaio

Thy Kingdom Come MMXIV lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

 

Hells Angels Dude (KICKS his BIKE’s ENGINE ON): AND NOW IT’S MY TURN LADIES!

 

Hells Angel Dude Breaks into Song.

 

Cue Next Manowar song. “Fighting the World” begins. 

 

Fighting the World

Manowar

Fight, fight, fight

Fighting the World every single day

Fighting the World for the right to play

Heavy Metal in my brain

I'm fighting for Metal cause it's here to stay

Fighting, fighting, fighting the World

I been fighting the World

Fighting, fighting, fighting the World

I been figthing

Fight for a living-Fighting the World

Fight for a living-Fighting the World

Fight for a living-Fighting the World

Fight

Now people keep asking if we're going to change

I look'em in the eye

Tell'em no way

Strips on a tiger don't wash away

Manowar's made of steel not clay

Fighting, fighting, fighting the World

I been figthing the World

Fighting, fighting, fighting the World

I been figthing

Fight for a living-Fighting the World

Fight for a living-Fighting the World

Fight for a living-Fighting the World

Fight Yeah!

See my brother standing by my side

Only got one thing in our mind

Radio playing this nation wide

Turn it up louder'til we all get fried

Fighting, fighting, fighting the World

I been figthing the World

Fighting, fighting, fighting the World

I been figthing

Fight-Fighting the World

Fight-Fighting the World

Fight-Fighting the World

Fight-Fighting the World

Fight for a living-Fighting the World

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Joey Demaio / Joseph De Maio / Joseph G Maio

Fighting the World lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

 

Hells Angel Dude tears off down the road like a bat out of hell! 

 

Cue Music and Next Manowar Song. “Carry On”. 

 

Carry On

Manowar

The north star always guides me

When winter skies are gray

And I wait for sun when all are one

I shall not betray

Calling at me

I'm waiting when all are led astray

Carry on my sons forever

Carry On when I am gone

Carry On when the day is long

Forever Carry On

For as long as we're together

Then forever Carry On

Darkness all around us

We don't close our eyes

No one's gonna ground us

We were burn to fly

Comin'at us no stopping

Born to amplify

Carry on my sons forever

Carry On when I am gone

Carry On when the day is long

Forever Carry On

For as long as we're together

Then forever Carry On

Yea, be my brother

Fight to stay alive

All the world can't change us

With all their burned-out jive

Come get us now we're waiting

We won't run and hide

Carry on my sons forever

Carry On when I am gone

Carry On when the day is long

Forever Carry On

For as long as we're together

Then forever Carry On

Now we're all together

Let's sing a fighting song

One hundred thousand riders

We can't all be wrong

Comin'at us no stopping

Always Carry On

Carry on my sons forever

Carry On when I am gone

Carry On when the day is long

Forever Carry On

For as long as we're together

Then forever Carry On

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dolores Mary O'Riordan

Carry On lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc


 

Suddenly a mysterious figure in a Black Hood appears out of the forest and starts singing Blind Guardian Twilight Orchestra’s Album “Legacy of the Dark Lands


 

He dances around and sings the entire album by himself. But it’s not really dancing...it’s more like….

 

WELCOME TO PRIME TIME...HATERZ!!!

 

End Chapter 8